When Ben De Backer comes out to their parents as nonbinary, they're thrown out of their house and forced to move in with their estranged older sister, Hannah, and her husband, Thomas, whom Ben has never even met. Struggling with an anxiety disorder compounded by their parents' rejection, they come out only to Hannah, Thomas, and their therapist and try to keep a low profile in a new school.
But Ben's attempts to survive the last half of senior year unnoticed are thwarted when Nathan Allan, a funny and charismatic student, decides to take Ben under his wing. As Ben and Nathan's friendship grows, their feelings for each other begin to change, and what started as a disastrous turn of events looks like it might just be a chance to start a happier new life.
At turns heartbreaking and joyous, I Wish You All the Best is both a celebration of life, friendship, and love, and a shining example of hope in the face of adversity.
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CW: depression, anxiety, panic attacks, coming out, abusive parents
I have been wanting to read this book for so long! I have been following Mason Deaver on Twitter for a while now, and I've enjoyed watching their process as a writer over the years as they talked about their writing project about an enby main character. So, when it came out I knew at some point I'd read it, and I am really glad I did! This is the first time I've read a book where the main character is non-binary and I am so happy to see some enby representation.
"Bodies are fucking weird, especially when it feels like you don't belong in your own."
This book is an emotional, pulling at your heartstrings kind of story, and it absolutely worked on me. I was empathetic and truly felt for Ben and their situation with their parents and sister Hannah. I'm a cis woman, so I can't relate in a way enby readers would be able to but I can acknowledge that Ben is trying their best while being completely overwhelmed. I think Deaver does a fantastic job portraying the hardships of some enby teens. Ben is eighteen years old trying to figure out what they want to do with their life like their classmates while also trying to figure out their gender identity and how to present themselves in a way they want to be seen while also being safe.
Seeing Ben not only make really great friends but open up to them as well as well as to Hannah and their therapist was really heartwarming. I loved seeing Ben slowly come out of their shell, I would have honestly loved more time with Ben and their school friends. I also loved Ben's online friendship with a Muslim enby internet sensation named Miriam. I think having someone older and more experienced in life as an enby person helped Ben gain more confidence in knowing that they were enby and it was really great to see them have someone in their corner supporting them who had similar experiences. I think it was a fantastic example of the value online friends can have for people who have issues putting themselves out there to make friends or are going through something that is hard to bring up to people you love in real life. I would have liked more development between Ben and their friends, both the ones in school and their online friend. I think Nathan, Ben's biggest in real life friend and love interest gets a lot more page time, but Ben gained other friends I would have loved to get to know more. I think Ben's friendship and transition into relationship with Nathan was really sweet. It was sweet and I think naturally evolved into something so wholesome.
Another relationship dynamic I would have liked to see expanded more is the conflict between Ben and their parents. I respect that sometimes when you have closed minded parents (or anyone in your life) who are set in their ways, sometimes it's best to cut them off. But it felt very open ended and unfinished. I think this is more a personal preference, because I can see why it was left the way it was, I just would have liked to see some implications to where that plot was going after the story ended on page.
There are some gripes I have with I Wish You All The Best, most being writing issues. One being that I don't think we get to know Ben in terms of who they are outside of their gender identity. We know they are timid and often isolate themselves. But when they open up they have a great sense of sarcastic witty humor I really enjoyed and would have liked to see more. We also know they're a talented artist and that they are a fan of Star Wars, a topic that is brought up briefly and never mention again. Other than that, they are a passive character that honestly makes them a bit boring. It was easy to sympathize and want happiness for them, but it was like they were not there despite being the main character. I think Ben when isolated themselves to everyone it made sense, but it felt like they isolated themselves from the reader too. In a way that we couldn't fully get to know them and when they did finally open up, the book was almost over so it was too late.
Another gripe being the dialogue. Some of the dialogue especially between Ben and their school friends felt off and not how teens or really even new adults talk. It was stale and sometimes even too formal. The only character for me that felt the most authentic was Nathan, and that was only sometimes. I didn't find it especially jarring, but it was enough to catch my attention.
"Labels can help people find common ground, can help them connect, with themselves and other people."
However, the writing has good aspects that I think should also be talked about. Other than the problems I mentioned above, it reminded me a lot of Becky Albertalli's writing style where it's pure and light even if the book's themes can be heavy. Like Albertalli's writing style, Deaver's style is addictive and really easy to read. I started and finished it in a day with little breaks. I wanted to see Ben get their happy ending, I wanted them to succeed. I think the mental illness aspect was also incredibly well written. Although my reasons for having anxiety, depression, and panic attacks are different from Ben's, I could still really relate to their experiences. The panic attacks were described in a way that is very similar to the way mine work as well. I think that representation is also so important and handled with care. Also, something I think that is important to mention, this book is OwnVoices, which means Deaver also identifies as non-binary. It's important to read books with strong representation like I Wish You All The Best, but especially when the authors identify with the representation.
Overall, I definitely recommend this book to all readers. It's a great introduction to what being non-binary entails but also it is a great representation for enby readers who want to see their gender identity in a book. I think this is a fantastic debut, and I have no doubt if and when Mason Deaver publishes more books, they'll keep improving.
Thanks for reading!
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